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What we mean when we talk about addiction – Part 2

Published on May 22nd, 2013 by in Uncategorized

addiction2In Part 1 of this series, I talked about the challenge of understanding addiction. This challenge is illustrated — and also shaped — by the fact that word itself means different things to different people. I pointed out how the word has been around for a long time in the English language, and that its emphasis has shifted.

Today we use the term in four distinct ways. Maybe it would be helpful to create subcategories. In his great book “The Globalization of Addiction,” addiction researcher Bruce Alexander does exactly that. In the book, he outlines four types of addiction, giving them the names “addiction 1” “addiction 2” “addiction 3” and “addiction 4.” I’m going to give them different names, which might help clarify the distinctions.

 

1. Chemical Addiction 

The first of Alexander’s categories of addiction is the traditional view: “An overwhelming involvement with alcohol or drugs.” This is one of the most common understandings of the word, with its focus limited to chemical dependence — drug addiction and/or alcoholism.

The keyword here is “overwhelming.” This word is important — this is not simply involvement with alcohol or drugs, but overwhelming involvement. This is when drugs are a significant (and destructive) part of one’s life. Estimates vary today about how prevalent chemical addiction is in our society. Estimates are that 5-10% of Americans are addicted to alcohol in this way, and about 5-8% are addicted to illegal drugs, meaning 12-15% of Americans suffer this kind of addiction … chemical addiction.

 

 2. Chemical Use/Abuse

This usage of the term addiction is more controversial. It refers to the ongoing use of “harmful” substances of any kind. This understanding of addiction is at play, for example, when a person goes to rehab for ongoing marijuana use. Some people say that since marijuana is illegal, a person who uses it at all must have a problem with it.

The challenge here is that the line between what constitutes the “use” and “abuse” of a substance can be very hard to determine. When does a recreational drug user become an addict? At what point does someone’s participation with a drug become “overwhelming?” In the minds of many people, some drugs are so destructive to users’ well-being that it’s best to treat even their occasional use as an addiction.

 

3. Behavioral Addiction

Behavioral addiction is “overwhelming involvement in something that affects one’s life negatively.” This obviously applies to the abuse of alcohol and other drugs (“chemical addiction”), but this use of “addiction” is more broad. The focus here is on processes or behaviors: things like food, sex, gambling… things that take control of a person’s life and become destructive for them.

The argument could be made that this type of addiction is still chemically-based. For example, in sex addiction, a person gets addicted to the chemical reaction that takes place in the brain during a sexual experience. This is the case with food, gambling, shopping, video games, work, and so on. But the key here is the broad understanding of the sources or objects of addiction. In this understanding, object of the addiction is not a chemical, it is an activity or behavior.

 

4. Positive Addiction

Addiction four is “strong dedication to a pursuit or cause that is helpful and constructive … but may become so absorbing that other aspects of life are neglected.” This goes back to the 1884 definition, “the giving over of oneself to some pursuit.” It might include things like being really into fitness or some sport, or hyper devotion to a certain cause. The activity or focus of attention is actually good and healthy, but it may be that our involvement with it gets to be so great that we are neglecting other things in life.

A positive addiction may seem similar to a behavioral addiction — the difference is whether or not the object is a good and worthy pursuit, and whether or not its pursuit is destructive to us. Think of the difference, for example, between someone “addicted” to pornography and someone “addicted” to running.

The lack of consensus on what addiction really is makes it difficult to help those who suffer from it. I feel that the most helpful and most accurate way of looking at addiction is the third definition, an overwhelming involvement in something that is destructive. This still leaves room for confusion and disagreement about what constitutes “overwhelming” involvement, but at least it gets us started.

What do you think?

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Has Porn Hijacked Our Sexuality? An interview with Gail Dines

dinesAuthor Gail Dines says today’s pornography looks nothing like it did 15 years ago — and it’s damaged our ability to have intimate relationships.

I’m including an interview that Sonali Kohatkar did with Gail Dines in its entirety, because it’s a great interview, and contains a helpful overview of the problem or pornography, how the business is run, and the effect it’s having on its users. This is a sobering interview. I completely agree with all that Dines is saying, but I want to add one additional point — about another aspect of pornography that she doesn’t address. I will do that in italics at the end of the interview.

Here is how Kohatkar set up the interview with Dines:

A new book by scholar Gail Dines asserts that society’s over-consumption of pornography and the ridiculous extremes of today’s mainstream pornography have greatly undermined our ability to have meaningful sexual partnerships. In Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked our Sexuality, Dines traces the history of the porn industry from Playboy and Penthouse, to today’s brutal fare that resembles nothing less than the videotaped sexual assault of women.

Not only does Dines go to great lengths to research the depth of porn’s standard fare, but she also details how the porn industry is consumed with profits, and the effect this has on its male viewers. Says Dines, “The pornographers did a kind of stealth attack on our culture, hijacking our sexuality and then selling it back to us, often in forms that look very little like sex but a lot like cruelty.”

Gail Dines is a professor of sociology and women’s studies at Boston’s Wheelock College, where she researches the hypersexualization of the culture.

Sonali Kolhatkar: I have to say it was very difficult to read your book, and I had to skip parts where you describe mainstream pornography. This is not your father’s Playboy or Penthouse magazines and videos. What we’re seeing in porn today, and mainstream porn, is completely bizarre. I mean, how do you handle it in your research?

Gail Dines: Well, what’s interesting is that I, like the viewers, get desensitized over time. I mean, obviously I couldn’t have the visceral reaction I had in the beginning to it. But I put those descriptions in because often people say to me, you know, why are you getting so upset by images of naked women? And what I want people to understand is that pornography now looks nothing like it did 10, 15 years ago — that it is now brutal and cruel and is absolutely based on the degradation of women. So this is why I walk people through the porn industry. Also, often anti-porn feminists are accused of picking the worst of the pornography. What I wanted to do was go into the mainstream pornography that the average 11-year-old would get once he put “porn” into Google. (more…)

 
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What we mean when we talk about addiction – Part 1

addiction

Getting clarity about an important – and often misunderstood – issue

What is addiction? In the church, in counseling, and even in the field of recovery, this deceptively simple question gets really confusing really fast.

Susan Cheever, in her wonderful book Desire, has this to say about the challenge of getting clarity about addiction:

“For all the definitions that have been written by the hundreds of addiction specialists and doctors, addiction is still mysterious and baffling. In many cases it’s hard to tell if someone is an addict or just a passionate amateur.”

In order to overcome addiction, we need to have a clear understanding of what it is, exactly. How is a doctor supposed to treat people for illness if she doesn’t know what these illnesses look like?

We dismiss it because we don’t understand it

Related to the confusion about what addiction is — and maybe in part because of that confusion — some people are dismissive of the concept itself. I’ve heard people complain that it’s a modern invention, compared to the (idealized) past, where people seemed to just “deal with” their problems. “If someone drank too much, they just stopped” (did that ever really work?).

(more…)

 
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The role of your spouse in recovery from sexual addiction

bigstock_Thoughtful_Woman_386151If you are married, your spouse can help or hinder your recovery, but they can’t make or break it. They can make your recovery easier or harder … but no matter how helpful they are, you still have to do the work yourself. Conversely, no matter how difficult, dysfunctional, or stuck in anger your spouse is, you can still move toward health and recovery … if you really want to.

You can’t move forward in your recovery if you’re holding your spouse responsible for it. Some sexual strugglers think their problem would be solved if only their spouse was more sexually available or responsive. Others think their recovery is on hold because their spouse is angry about their sexual behavior and isn’t supportive enough of the efforts they’re making in recovery.

The list of ways that addicts turn the keys of their recovery over to their spouses is endless … and sad. It’s time to take the keys back, and keep the responsibility for recovery on our own shoulders.

In other posts on this website, we have made the point that the first step in the 12 Steps is to recognize our powerlessness over our addictive behavior … that we can’t control our sexual compulsion without outside help. But let’s be clear: that outside help (more…)

 
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TED Talk Highlights Brain Changes that Stem from Porn

THE BAD NEWS: Porn alters the brain in ways that inhibit arousal and detract from “in person” sex, creating an epidemic of erectile dysfunction

THE GOOD NEWS: When you stop porn use, your brain can (over time) heal itself

Check out this fascinating TEDx lecture by Gary Wilson. It’s well put together, and really needs no introduction.

Be forewarned: some people who read this site are easily triggered to sexual temptation, and very sensitive to the materials I put on here. So know that there is a brief picture of women in bikinis at one point in the lecture.

But I hope that won’t keep you from watching. It’s very thought-provoking, and I hope that every person who has access to the internet watches this video.

 

Let me know what you think in the comments. :-)

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Recovery Fail: Five stupid things people do to mess up their recovery

Here is the recording of a Teleseminar I did some time ago about the ways people sabotage their recovery.

I am getting ready to do another teleseminar with my wife Charlene in March … I hope you can join us for that. This recording should give you an example of what these teleseminars are like.

By the way, this teleseminar lasts 60 minutes. You can click on the link and it will open up a player, or you can right click and do a “save as …” and listen to it later.

Recovery Fail Teleseminar

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Free Teleseminar: Dealing with Dysfunctional Relationships … The 90/10 Transition

What can you do in a relationship that’s not working, but it seems like the other person is not willing to change?

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Event: Free Teleseminar Training

Date: Thursday, March 7

Time: 7:00pm Central Time

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Dealing with Dysfunctional Relationships … The 90/10 Transition is a free teleseminar, and the focus will be on how to deal with an intimate relationship that is not working. The leaders of this training event will be Mark Brouwer and Charlene Brouwer, who lead recovery workshops and groups, as well as doing individual and couples counseling and coaching.

“If couples come to us and they both acknowledge things aren’t going well, and they’re both ready to admit their failings, and they’re both willing to make changes, then counseling is powerful and changes happen really quickly. But that pretty much never happens. Instead it’s usually one person wants to make things work, and the other person is unwilling or unable to make changes. Sometimes the problem is that one partner is struggling with addiction … and their spouse wonders how to deal with that. What can you do if you are wanting to make overcome dysfunction in a relationship, but your partner doesn’t see it, and/or won’t do anything to change?”  – Mark Brouwer

This free telephone seminar will include a written action guide, and teaching by Mark and Charlene, based on their experiences working with couples overcoming addiction, and couples dealing with other challenges. There will also be time for your questions and answers.

Registration is free, and all registered participants will receive a recording of this training event.

Sign up using the form below … and note that you’ll need to confirm your participation by responding to a verification email.

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Letting Go: How Far Do I Take This Approach to Life?

I know that the problem for many of us — which leads to stress and pain and ultimately to dysfunctional relationships and/or addiction — is this: we get too wrapped up in our expectations and desires for our lives and other people. Everywhere we look there are problems to fix. Everyone in our lives has something we want them to change. We vacillate between trying crazy hard to control and change, and then swing over to passivity and disengagement.

It seems like the more we try to change things, the more resistance we get, and the more disappointment we feel.

What would it be like to just accept other people the way they are? What would it be like to accept my life as it is? Could I do this? Should I do this? Doesn’t it seem like we’re giving up “the fight” then (as in, fighting for what’s right, fighting for our marriage, fighting for purity, etc., etc.)?

I don’t know. I do know that some point we have ask ourselves: What is all this fighting getting us? How well are the people in our lives responding to our suggestions and encouragement to improve?

I ran across a paragraph from Byron Katie that got me thinking. I’m not sure I completely agree with it, because it seems so extreme. But it sure has me thinking. Somehow there is a curious co-mingling of acceptance and change. Somehow these two things seem to go together: accepting my life and myself and others around me just as they are … and moving towards something more healthy and God-honoring. Listen to how Katie puts it:

I don’t know what’s best for me or you or the world. I don’t try to impose my will on you or anyone else. I don’t want to change you or improve you or convert you or help you or heal you. I just welcome things as they come and go. That’s true love. The best way of leading people is to let them find their own way.

What do you think?

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