Six articles about recovery and relationships worth reading

There are lots of good things being written every day about healthy sexuality, marriage, and recovery … but there’s also a lot of junk!  Here’s some of the good stuff I’ve read lately:

Establishing Boundaries in Toxic Relationships – Great article from Recovery Systems Institute on establishing boundaries in relationships with addicts that we love. Many of us drive ourselves crazy trying to help someone who’s not fully committed to helping themselves in recovery. Here’s a sample quote — something to remind yourself every day:

“I can’t make him change — I can only support him if he decides to make the effort. But if he’s not making that effort, then we’re probably both better off acknowledging it.”

Trauma and the Twelve Steps – looks like an interesting book that’s going to be coming out soon. Much addiction has its roots in early life trauma, and most relapsing is the result of unprocessed trauma. This site has some book excerpts that are worth reading.

Can we believe that we have the capacity to change? Great article on Huffington Post with a different take on Step 2 — can we believe that it’s possible to change?

What I wish I’d known about divorce – people who were unfaithful and now divorced write about how life is now, and what they’ve learned. By Rick Reynolds, affair recovery expert.

Another article from Huffington Post — this one on using social media to get support in recovery. Very good stuff, but my question is: what about anonymity? This is an especially big problem with sexual struggles.

The 12 Steps Restated – Here’s one you might want to spend some time with, especially if you’re working the 12 Steps. It’s a re-working of the #12steps, including a re-statement of each in “non-12-steppy” terms, and some commentary.

One thought on “Six articles about recovery and relationships worth reading”

  1. Interesting selection of articles and I welcome the term ‘toxic relationship’ in terms of what it is like to live with an addict for the non addicted partner.

    I had an online altercation recently in regard to this subject, from a woman who claimed that she was ‘strong enough’ to stay with her addicted partner, where-as, seeing that I was in a toxic relationship, I had left mine.

    it angered me greatly that she wore her martyrdom as though it were a medal of honour and her claims that she was a good wife, because she had stayed in a relationship with a porn addict for twenty years, effectively ruining her life and making no difference on his addiciton, that angered me the most.

    Women in particular are inclined to stay in a toxic relationship, because that is what constitutes a good wife. In reality, it constitutes being little more than a mug.

    I wrote a piece on my blog page entitled The Good Wife: A Cautionary Tale, which you may wish to add to your list. It includes her initial, unprovoked attack on me, my site, and my book: – You Want Me To Do WHAT With That?! which is written for partners of addicts dontrewardbadbehaviour.com/blog/

    Thank you for this piece… you have added to a much needed dose of reality.

    Lindsay

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