A note to female visitors

You might notice that on this site, much of the information – especially about sex addiction recovery – is slanted from a male perspective. I’m aware that a growing number of people struggling with sex addiction are female. Dr. Patrick Carnes has reported for years that 20% of people seeking treatment for sex addiction are female, and this number is growing. Gender stereotypes about sexuality are breaking down more and more. Many experts in the field believe that women are just as likely to be sex addicts as men.

The reality for my life, however, is that as a boundary I don’t work personally with female sex addicts. Faithful and True Ministries, where I serve as Director of Training, also works with male addicts and their spouses. For this reason, much of the information you’ll find in this site is oriented to male addicts and their partners. However, I hope you’ll be able to make applications for female sex addiction, if you are needing help there.

Resources for women struggling with sex addiction

For those who’d like more information about sex addiction from a female point of view, check these articles out:

Here is a great article in PDF form by Marnee Feree, who does lots of work with female sex addicts. This article is written for the Journal of Sexual Compulsivity, and gives a great overview of female sex addiction (in the form of common myths about female sex addiction that need to be eradicated).

There are some great books out there, talking about sex addiction from a female perspective. The two I most heartily recommend are: Desire: where sex meets addiction, by Susan Cheever, and Women, sex, and addiction by Charlotte Kasl. Note that neither approach the subject from a traditional evangelical Christian perspectve, but they are both very wise and helpful.

Here is a link to the Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAST) for women. Originally designed by Patrick Carnes for male sex addicts, it has been adapted for women, and this link will take you to that version of the test.

Last but not least, I strongly suggest that you take a look at 12 Step fellowships in your area that deal with sex addiction. Here is an article profiling the various organizations, with contact information. SLAA, SAA, and SA all have groups for women.

Resources for wives of male sex addicts

Here is information about a telephone seminar I’m putting on with Deb Laaser for partners, parents, and friends of sex addicts. This four week seminar will have tons of information for wives of male sex addicts.

Here’s a link to the best book out there for wives of sex addicts. It’s written by my colleague Deb Laaser, but I’m not just recommending it because she’s my friend. It really is an important and helpful book. Here’s a link to a blog post I wrote about the book, with some extended quotes from the book’s introduction.

Here is a good, short article written for wives of sex addicts. It contains a list of “What you can do to help your spouse.”

This is the best article I have read for wives of sex addicts. In fact, I liked it so much I have a separate blog article about it. Must reading for male addicts and their female spouses!