Alexandra Katehakis has a great article on her site about unmanagebility that got me thinking. Part of the reason many sex addicts struggle to get and stay sober is that sex addiction can be hidden in ways that other addictions cannot. It’s true that “we reap what we sow,” but still. People can go for years dysfunctionally dependent on various types of sexual activity to help them cope with life … and keep this hidden from people around them.
But eventually life starts to unravel. And inexorably, the soul of the addict starts to shrivel up. When we live in unreality, consistently behaving in ways that run counter to our values, and keep significant parts of our lives hidden from people we love, part of us dies … no matter how good we are at lying.
Here’s a few lines from Alexandra’s article:
There are a lot of “functioning” addicts out there, whatever that means! People who are highly compartmentalized can “function” in life. That means, they can fool their partners, their bosses, and even themselves, for awhile. Eventually though, the addiction always catches up with them.
In the tradition of the 12-steps “unmanagability” really means “messes.”